Tuesday, March 22, 2016

You have to let me go....

They moved Rhea up to the pre-k room at daycare this past week.  She has been clamoring to get into the garden sprouts room for the past year.  She even has gone as far as eating vegetables.  Her logic - Vegetables come from dirt, dirt is in a garden, I don't eat vegetables that is why I am not a garden sprout. (don't you just love the thinking and reasoning of a 4 year old?)   Justin and I fed into that for the past 6 months and she has tried and eaten numerous vegetables. She gagged and choked many of them down but she was driven to get moved up into the "big kid' room.  We have been prepping her for the switch but I wasn't really preparing myself for this switch.  I think I am having a harder time with it than Rhea is.  We were talking about it on Monday when I said to her "I don't want you to be a Garden Sprout!"  She looked at me very seriously and gave me a hug and said quietly in my ear "You have to let me go"  That has sat with me for a day.   You have to let me go.   I am letting her go little by little each day.  And each night as I lay in bed my heart aches just a little.  I am so proud of who she is becoming but I will never be happy about letting her go, letting her grow. I know she is only 4 and I am being very emotional but the days keep coming and going and she keeps growing. Everyone threw in advice when I was having a baby but no one mentioned this letting go thing.  I am guessing it is too painful. To be blunt it kind of sucks.  I turned around and Rhea is so grown up.  The baby features in her mouth and face have developed into this beautiful little girl.  I watch her engage in her day and often wonder where did all this time go?  I wonder if my parents feel this way about me?

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