Summer

How is it August 4th already?  Didn't the summer just get started?  I have tried to fill our weekends with things to do, spending time with family and creating memories.  Rhea said to me this week "when are we just going to stay home?"  I was taken aback at first thinking to myself we are always home during the week.  But I realized we are not really home during the week. We rush out in the morning and rush through the nightly routine of dinner, baths, books, and bed.  So for the rest of the summer I am just going to take the days as they come and let the kids be home to chill out a bit.  Maybe skip a bath during the week, pending how clean they are. (side note- my kids get filthy at daycare. covered in paint, food, dirt on a daily basis) I know they have enjoyed camping and cookouts but I think this weekend we will just let them enjoy their toys, their yard.  And create some good memories in our home.  Sometimes I spend all this time and effort to make things good for them that I forget that spending time with Mom and Dad is good enough.  I need to remember that more.

Fast Cars

Rhea has really come into her own the past few months.  She is slowly transforming into this little lady.  I won't go into all that crap of how quickly it goes.  You all know that already.   She is becoming her own person and it is really neat to see it unfold.  What amazes me is how much she picks up and how much of it she is not picking up from me.  Examples of what she has said recently below:

Example #1
Rhea - "Mom, boys are so booooooooooooring.  When is Kellen coming over?"

Example #2
Rhea - "Mom, I like my hair brushed the opposite of how I like my cars"
Me - "I don't understand the analogy"
Rhea - "Mom, I like my cars to go fast with no traffic but I like you to brush my hair slow okay?"
Me-" Who are you?"

Example #3
Rhea - "What is Jack's sisters name?"
Me - " Jack doesn't have a sister"
Rhea -"Then who was with him today?"
Me- "Stephanie, his mom"
Rhea- "I thought she was his sister"

Example #4
Rhea -"Your diabetes is on the floor"
Me -"What?"
Rhea- "Your diabetes is all over the house"
Me-" do you mean my test strips?'
Rhea-"no your diabetes"

I'm a big girl now

You are big enough to use the potty.  You have outgrown your binkie.  You no longer need pull ups or diapers.  You no longer sleep in a crib.  You can dress yourself.  Your room is slowly becoming "your" room and less like the nursery I put together for you.  Your vocabulary has grown and what you say makes sense now.  You can brush your own teeth and hair.  You have likes and dislikes that have nothing to do with me.  You only drink "big girl water" now which is basically water out of a water bottle.  (Justin refers to it as big girl water now too)  You truly believe you will be a princess when you grow up.  You have friends at school that I don't even know about.  You can put together puzzles on your own.  You remind me everyday that "I'm a big girl now".  And as much as it pains me to admit it, you are.  Everyday you are slowly moving away from me and coming into your own. You don't depend on my the way your younger sister does. You say things to be like remember when I was a baby or tell me what I was like when I was a baby.  And I am caught off guard thinking to myself isn't she still a baby.  But you are not. You are a big girl now.    There is that old saying that kids grow up so fast.  And of course it is true.  Justin always tells me we didn't have kids to slow life down.  And I know he is right but what I wouldn't give to just freeze her as she now.  But I cannot.  So I have to let her become the big girl she wants to be.   I am hoping who she really is comes with a little less drama (" Maggie is looking at me, make her stop"  " You yelled at me because I hit Duke"  "I'm going to my room!!!!!!!!!" door slam) but I am still loving every ( well not every) minute of watching her grow

Three years young

My oldest daughter turned three this weekend.  At three she is old enough to dress herself.  At three she is old enough to be out of diapers and needing "privacy" when in the bathroom.  At three she can play soccer but refer to it as football.  At three she can take dance lessons and insist on wearing Crocs.  At three she doesn't always want to hug and kiss me good bye.   At three she answers all of my questions with "Of course"  It is kind of comical.

• "Do you want lunch?" - Of Course
• "Do you want to help me with dinner?" -Of Course
• "Are your toys supposed to be on the floor?" Of course they are not

She reminds me so much of Justin.  The way she talks, the way she laughs.   My Dad said she reminds him so much of me when I was younger.  Of course (see what I did there?) I don't see it. All I see is a little girl that is growing into a young lady that I am determined to keep her little and fun for as long as possible.  Life moves at a rapid speed and I am enjoying the moments in parenthood.

This is what Three Looks like-Enjoy!

Diabetes and a three year old

Children are amazing creatures.  They pick up on things that you don't think they can even understand.  My insulin pump was beeping at me last night because the canula was low.  Rhea says to me "Oh no Mommy, your diabetes is low, you better get a juice.  Don't worry I'll get it for you"  I can count on my hand the number of times I have said I am low to her but somehow she realized it was important and compartmentalized it in her brain.  She then went on to tell me that "Rhea doesn't have diabetes, Maggie doesn't have diabetes, Daddy doesn't have diabetes, Dukie doesn't have diabetes, only Mommy does"  Apparently she has been listening to me.  Having had diabetes since 1991 it is a huge part of who I am now.  I want to set a great example for my daughters  of what living with T1 diabetes looks like.  I want them to understand the disease but I don't want them afraid of it.  I have  often been asked "Aren't you afraid of giving it to them?"  Of course I am.  It is one of the stupidest questions anyone can ask me.  Oh course I worry about the health and safety of my children but I don't let the fear of diabetes control my life.  I am the only person in my family with diabetes of any kind.  No one has any form of diabetes at all.  Maybe I am just a fluke.  Maybe for me it is not genetic or hereditary.  Maybe it is just one of those things.  So I will let Rhea get my juice when my sugar is low.  Because there will come a day when the only juice in the house is an Elmo juice box and I am positive she will fight me tooth and nail for it.  And I will need her to understand it is medicine for Mommy and that I am not stealing her Elmo.  But just to be safe I have stocked up on glucose tabs.

Today's Griswald moment brought to you by the Wnukowski Family

Justin & I had a night out on the town last nite.  Justin was in rough shape today so we were looking forward to a quiet night at home with Rhea and Duke.  At 7PM I picked Rhea up to give her a hug only to become covered in poop.  She has a massive blowout.  An hour goes by and she goes to bed.  She refuses a bottle but goes down without a fuss.  This should have been my first warning sign that something is not right.  At 9:30 I am laying in bed and no sooner do the words "I am going to sleep.  This was such a relaxing night"does all hell break loose.  Rhea starts crying.  Justin goes in to find that she had puked all over her crib.  I strip the bed and he brings her to the living room.  She proceeds to puke some more which caused my hungover husband to puke.  I tell him to leave the room and I left Rhea finish puking.  Justin comes and takes her and I begin cleaning only to find Duke eating the puke which made me pretty much puke.  Needless to say it is going to be a long night in Grafton!

Much ado about a Pancake

Rhea transitioned over to a toddler room at daycare this week.  She did fine.  I knew she would.  I on the other hand didn't fare so well.  On Wednesday I was informed she ate a pancake for breakfast.  What?  A pancake?  What happened to yogurt and Cheerios?  Apparently there was a miss communication regarding what Rhea eats.  But she ate the pancake and seemed to enjoy it.  So why was I so upset about a pancake?  To be honest, I wasn't really upset about the pancake.  I had been trying for weeks to get Rhea to eat anything but pureed food which has been an epic fail.  What I found myself upset about was the loss of control.  You see, I want to control what she eats and what she doesn't eat.  I want to share those "first" food moments with her.  Ever since I went back to work a part of me feels like I am just here for the ride and that she no longer belongs to me at all.  I know that is silly and not true but it feels that way sometimes.  I had this fantasy while I was pregnant about being home and raising my family.  The reality is so far from those blissful daydreams.  My thoughts are with her all day but I feel her slipping away from me more and more each day.  It makes me upset just thinking about it.  My boss told me these feelings and emotions are normal.  It's called being a parent.  Parents get upset over things like pancakes.  I guess she is right.  But it still makes me wonder if I over reacted.  I mean I have heard of crying over spilled milk.  But pancakes?  

I try but not very hard

I have lost almost all my pregnancy weight, but my body is just not the same.  I feel like I need to loose ten more pound but those ten pounds really want to stay with me.  The majority of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit but they just don't fit the same anymore.  And everyday for the past 6 months I have done almost the same thing.  Start off the day eating right but by the end of the day I have eaten some kind of candy or cookies or something to derail my positive momentum.  At first I told myself it was ok to eat the sweets because I was not allowed to eat any of these items when I was pregnant.  But my baby is going to be a year old very soon so this extra weight is no longer baby weight but Mommy weight.  I really need to start exercising but I love to sleep more.  And the only time in my hectic day to exercise would be to get up at 5 AM and workout for an hour.  And that is just not happening.  So I am just going to try and enjoy the Mommy weight.  Rhea doesn't seem to mind!  And at this point in my life, her opinion is the only one that matters.

We All Fall Down

I had one of "those" mom experiences today. I checked my vm and Rhea's school called stating "not to worry but...." My heart sank and panic set in. She bumped her head but that she was fine. Of course I ran down there to see what was going on. And this is the face that greeted me

Of course it wasn't this picture exactly but you get my point.  I was worried and she was fine.  The school treated it like a crime scene.  The teacher was called to the directors office, there was an incident report that I needed to sign.  But I guess this is the world we live in.  I mean she is just learning to crawl.  She is going to bump her head and fall down.  The teacher to child ratio in Rhea's class today was 2 to 2 meaning there were two teachers working and two children in the class room.  She had plenty of one on one time and was not neglected in anyway.  It made me realize that I want to teach Rhea that she is going to fall down, she is going to get hurt, she is going to fail.  And you cannot analyze everything and try to find blame.  It was an accident, a part of life.  You have to get up and keep going.  Eventually I would hope she will learn to use her hands to brace her falls.  But for now there is a note in her file that reads  "Scatter pillows around to break possible falls".  And I am OK with that.   I guess we all need a soft place to land every once in a while.

Ramblings of Rhea

After months of me coaching Rhea and repeating over and over again "Momma, Momma" she uttered her first rambling words this past week. And it wasn't Momma.

Panera lunch is my new cocktail hour

Not sure how I never noticed this before but Panera is the hottest spot for new moms and their babies.  Everytime I have gone there the past few months all I see is groups of moms fawning over their babies while eating a salad.   It is crazy!  I find myself checking out woman and their babies and using language I would if I were out for drinks with my girlfriends.  "Check out how cute he is" I may say referring to an adorable male toddler sitting a few tables over.  Or "Look at her outfit" referring to the 9 month old in a pink and flowery get up. "That is a $600 dollar stroller!"   Rhea and I really need to step up our game because when I was there last week, I forgot a burp cloth so I had to use a napkin.  I know the other mom's were looking at me, judging me.  I know for a fact at least one mom was.  My mother.  She was horrified that I was using a napkin.  She was horrified I didn't have a Sofie the Giraffe.  She was horrified Rhea didn't have socks on.  To be fair she did have socks on when we left the house but she kicked them off when we got to lunch and refused to keep them on.  She told me I need to be more like other Panera moms.  She told me to get it together!  At this point I wished Panera sold booze as I would have ordered a drink!